115 Purse Puns to Clutch Your Sides in Laughter

Welcome to a playful parade of purse puns, where every sentence is stitched with humor and every quip is quilted with wit! Whether you’re a handbag aficionado or just someone who appreciates a good laugh, you’re in the right place. 

Get ready to explore an arsenal of amusing anecdotes that promise not just to carry your essentials but also to lift your spirits. From clutches that crack jokes to wallets that whip up whimsy, these puns are perfectly poised to make you chuckle.

1. Zip It Up: Purse Puns That Seal the Deal

1. This purse is so pricy, it costs a pretty “penny bag”!
2. Talk about a space saver—this clutch comes in a “compact” size!
3. Are designer bags religious? They all have a “Christian Door”!
4. This purse isn’t just for show—it has a “tote-al” commitment to storage!
5. Lost your makeup again? It’s just playing “hide and chic” in your handbag!
6. This bag is like a good romance, it “clutches” your heart and doesn’t let go!
7. Is your bag running low on space? Time for a “storage expansion pack”!
8. When it rains, my purse becomes an “umbagrella.” No wet wallets here!
9. Our new line of eco-friendly bags are all “biodegrad-sheek”!
10. Why did the handbag go to therapy? It couldn’t handle the “emotional bag-gage”!
11. How does a purse stay in shape? By keeping its “pockets” tight!
12. This bag’s so versatile, it can even double as a “fashion flotation” device!
13. Our purses are like dairy products—they’re “udderly” fabulous!
14. Just bought a haunted handbag—it comes with extra “spirit” storage!
15. How do you organize a purse party? Make sure it’s “tote-ally” coordinated!

2. Handle With Flair: Fashionable Grabs

1. Ever seen a bag this color? It’s “hue-mongous” in style!
2. What does a sophisticated purse drink? “Couture-on-the-rocks!”
3. This purse isn’t old, it’s just “retro-fitted” for more style!
4. Got a bag made of gold—talk about a “heavy met-tale”!
5. How do purses stay informed? They read the “hand-bag headlines”!
6. Purses at the beach are always on “shore-duty!”
7. What’s a handbag’s favorite kind of music? “Handle-baroque”!
8. This bag is like an onion, it’s got “layers” of pockets!
9. Why was the purse good at poker? It always had a few “tricks in the bag”!
10. Don’t let your purse near the comedy show—it might steal the “punchline”!
11. I’ve got a boomerang bag—it always “comes back” in style!
12. This purse has so many compartments it’s like a “maze in leather”!
13. Got a math-lover’s purse—it’s always adding to my “style-sum”!
14. My purse doesn’t just carry goods, it hauls “fashion sense”!
15. What does a bag do at the end of a long day? It just wants to “unwind” and unload!

3. Fashion Funnies: Satchel Slapsticks

1. Did you hear about the shy purse? It always “kept its flap closed”!
2. This bag is so trustworthy, it could be a “secre-tary”!
3. What do you call a messy handbag? A “tangle tote”!
4. Why don’t some purses work well together? They “clash in style”!
5. A bag in the library? Must be checking out the “pocket books”!
6. You could say this clutch has a good grip on “fashion’s pulse”!
7. Ever heard of a lazy bag? It just sits around “loafing”!
8. Why are backpacks always calm? They’re great at “shouldering stress”!
9. I’ve got a purse so smart, it speaks “tote languages”!
10. My purse loves the holidays—it always brings the “festive feel”!
11. Got a bag that’s a great cook—it’s always “whipping up style”!
12. Why did the purse go to school? To join the “debate clasp”!
13. I asked my bag to move, but it was “tote-ally” stationary!
14. My crossbody bag is so hip, it has its own “buckle list”!
15. This purse is so popular at parties—it always “brings the bag”!

4. Pocket Full of Puns: Wallet Whimsy

1. This wallet’s so nice, it changes “spending spirits”!
2. Why did the wallet go to the party? It heard there’d be “cash and carry”!
3. What’s a wallet’s life motto? “Keep the change!”
4. Wallets are like onions, they open up “layer by charge”!
5. My wallet’s an athlete—it’s always “running tabs”!
6. Ever hear about the wallet that went to space? It needed more “star bills”!
7. What’s a wallet’s favorite drink? “Charge-tea”!
8. This wallet isn’t just smart, it’s a “credit to its kind”!
9. Why did the wallet join the choir? It wanted to “note” its presence!
10. A wallet’s favorite exercise? “Bill-lifting”!
11. What’s a wallet’s favorite movie? “Pocket-full of Miracles”!
12. Did you hear about the romantic wallet? It loves “cash-ing” moonlight walks!
13. Wallets in the kitchen? They’re great at “budget baking”!
14. Why don’t wallets tell good secrets? Because money talks!
15. A wallet walked into a bar and said, “Put it on my tab!”

5. Tote-ally Terrific: Bag-tastic Bon Mots

1. Why do totes hate rainy days? They’re not “waterproof-read”!
2. My tote’s so reliable, you could call it “tote-ally dependable”!
3. A tote’s favorite music? Anything with a good “carry-tune”!
4. What did one tote say to the other? “I’ve got your bag!”
5. Why did the tote go to the gym? To work on its “baggage handling”!
6. My tote is a magician—it makes “carrying capacity” disappear!
7. Totes love camping—they’re always “packed and ready”!
8. A tote’s favorite holiday? “Thanks-giving,” for carrying all the food!
9. What makes totes angry? A “rip-off”!
10. This tote is so light, it’s practically “feather-weight”!
11. Why did the tote get an award? It was “outstanding in its field” of fabric!
12. Totes at a concert? They’re great at “holding the fort”!
13. A tote’s favorite story? “The long and the short handle of it”!
14. Why do totes make great detectives? They’re good at “carrying the case”!
15. Did you hear about the eco-friendly tote? It’s “green at the seams”!

6. Pouches of Laughter: Punny Pack Essentials

1. My pouch is part-time construction—it’s always “building up my look”!
2. A pouch’s favorite time of day? “Pocket o’clock”!
3. Why are pouches great at parties? They always bring a “little something”!
4. Pouches in the art gallery? They appreciate the “fine prints”!
5. My pouch is so popular, it’s a “social light”!
6. A kangaroo’s pouch is great at “jump-starting” conversations!
7. What’s a pouch’s favorite game? “Hide and sleek”!
8. Why did the pouch go on a diet? It wanted to “slim down” its contents!
9. Pouches at the beach love “sandy pockets”!
10. What do you call a sad pouch? A “tear-bag”!
11. A pouch’s favorite weather? When it’s “pocket-sized hail”!
12. Why do pouches make great friends? They “hold onto” your items and secrets!
13. Pouches in the office? They’re all about “compartmentalizing”!
14. A pouch’s favorite adventure? A “pocket-sized quest”!
15. Did you hear about the generous pouch? It’s always “giving pocket change”!

7. Clutch Comedy: Grasping for Giggles

1. Why did the clutch go to the spa? To “unzip” and relax!
2. This clutch is always at parties because it loves to “hold on to” a good time!
3. Ever heard of a dieting clutch? It keeps everything “light”!
4. A clutch’s favorite sport? “Catch” of course!
5. Why do clutches make good secret agents? They always “snap shut” on secrets!
6. My clutch is so essential, you can’t leave “home without it”!
7. How does a clutch celebrate its birthday? By “busting out” the confetti!
8. A clutch’s motto? “Keep calm and carry elegantly.”
9. Why was the clutch at the beach? It wanted to “sea” and be seen!
10. What’s a clutch’s favorite magic trick? The “disappearing wallet” act!
11. Clutches in the winter love to “bundle up” in style!
12. Why are clutches never lost? They always “stick to your side”!
13. A clutch’s favorite kind of story? “Pocket-sized” tales!
14. How do you know a clutch is optimistic? It always thinks everything will “snap into place”!
15. What does a clutch do at a networking event? It “handles” the introductions!

8. Bag of Tricks: Puns to Shoulder the Fun

1. Why did the handbag enroll in dance classes? To improve its “swing”!
2. What’s a bag’s favorite horror movie? “The Carry-on Witch Project”!
3. This bag is so trendy, it’s practically “off the handles”!
4. Why are bags so good at history? They “carry” a lot of it!
5. A handbag’s favorite kind of market? “Stock and handle”!
6. Why do bags love the holiday season? They’re great at “wrapping”!
7. What’s a handbag’s favorite kind of lift? A “tote lift” in the gym!
8. How do handbags stay calm? By “keeping their pockets cool”!
9. What does a handbag do in a crisis? It “packs up” courage!
10. Ever see a bag in a parade? It loves to “march” to its own beat!